High Energy "Nutrition"

Warning: This is not for the faint of the heart (literally). Wikipedia says that hospitalization has been occurring from as little as 2 grams of caffeine. The finished beverage contains somewhere around 3-4g (per litre).

Anyway, as I am the de-facto keeper of the minutes of the pirate party, and sometimes choose to type for 12 hours straight, I have been doing some legal drug research, and over the course of many meetings came to the following recipe.

Ingredients (can be bought at a usual supermarket):

• 1000g (heavy) whipping cream (35% fat)
• 400g dextrose
• 50g instant dry coffee (roughly equivalent to 30 cups of coffee)
• flavouring (one package of bourbon vanilla and possibly some zest)
• three bags of chamomile tea

Instructions:

• Add all ingredients into a kettle.
• Heat and stir until everything is dissolved in the cream (except for the chamomile)

The resulting 1400g of beverage contain 13.85 MJ energy from the cream (i.e. mostly due to fat) and 6.19 MJ energy from the dextrose. The average human needs 8 MJ per day, approximately half a litre - which also contains 15 cups of coffee. By the way, the human body needs way more than 500ml of water per day, so keep some extra water within reach. This also allows you to independently control water and energy+caffeine intake.

I tried and rejected the following alternative nutritions for minute taking:

• dry dextrose + coffee, only gives you short-term concentration boosts
• high-energy chocolade cookies + coffee, resulted in upset stomach
• canola oil + walnut oil + heavily overdosed and short-brewed black tea, tastes like crap, needs a shake before drinking, otherwise fine
• whipping cream + dextrose + instant dry coffee + artificial flavour, tastes worse than the current recipe

Open questions:

• does the chamomile really have any positive effect on the stomach and help offset caffeine jitter?